I’m going through “The Change”. This probably falls under the heading of WAY too much information for many of my readers. I apologize for that, but if you’ll bear with me, there IS a point to this rather personal disclosure.
Over the past few years, forgetfulness has increasingly become a problem for Paul & I. I often joke that, between the stroke and menopause, we almost have one brain! The most common answer to almost any question at our house is simply, “oh. I forgot.” While at first we were disturbed by this phenomenon (we lost so much of Paul’s mom to Alzheimer’s before her heart finally stopped at 94), we have learned to laugh and find new tools to help us keep up with the simple tasks needed to maintain our daily lives.
My mind’s not the only thing that’s different. Underneath the 3 color weave my hairdresser uses to disguise my age, my hair is almost solid gray. My eyesight continues to deteriorate, my body doesn’t recover the way it once did, and my emotions have become increasingly unreliable. While I remain thankful for the good things in my life, I sometimes resent not being able to slow the effects of aging. In my mind’s eye, I’m still a fresh-faced 20 year-old but my mirror reflects someone very different and unfamiliar.
After 3 days of excruciating pain, I held my 98 year old father-in-law’s hand as we prepared to move him to the hospice floor of the hospital. The meds they gave him had eased his pain and his sleep was no longer fitful. He was more at peace at that moment than I had seen him in several years. Not since before mom’s fall, that marked the end of their independence, had his brow been so smooth – no longer furrowed with worry, anger or frustration.
Jesus loves me, this I know.
I have a big house. It was a gift from God and, more specifically, an inheritance from Paul’s parents. There are rooms there for every use – for Paul’s business, for our family’s entertainment, for sleeping, cooking and bathing. There’s even a place right in the front door we call the Life Room. This room has a piano, a stack of worship music, a sitting area, a small cd player, lots of plants and photos of children – ours and the ones we love from other families. There is no television, no radio and no clock. 
Posey Road 