I had sandwiches for lunch last Friday.  Nothing remarkable about that except that it was my 48^th birthday and my husband and I were sitting on a bench on the rim of the Grand Canyon on our first vacation together in 6 years.   Amazing.

What a way to celebrate the life God has given me – seeing a glimpse of His majesty while sharing a simple meal with the love of my life.  All I could think of at first were the lyrics to a song from my childhood…

How big is God?  How big and wide His vast domain?

To try and tell, these lips can only start.

He’s big enough to rule this mighty universe, yet small enough to live within my heart.

We cleaned up our mess and hitched a ride on one of the shuttles that would take us to well defined lookout points along an 8 mile stretch of the canyon.  The shuttles come and go from each stop in 10 minute intervals so we could stay at each stop for as little or as long as we liked.  There were people from all over the world visiting the canyon.  It was fun to listen to the different languages they spoke and do some people-watching in addition to continuing to ooh and aah over God’s creation.   It was an incredible day.

At one of the stops, a woman about my age approached us and asked if we lived in Lubbock.  “Yes”, I said.  “We live just outside of town.”  How odd to see someone from home at this far away place.  Imagine my surprise when her next question was, “do you go to Turning Point?” and then, “your husband ushers in first service, right?”!   And that’s how Paul & I met Wayson & Debbie Gerwig.   It seems we had to travel 800 miles to meet  someone from our own backyard.   We met up with the Gerwigs again a little further down the canyon and spent some time visiting and getting to know them – something we should have done long before.

I was thinking about that chance meeting this morning while Pastor Andy was talking about being lead by the Spirit.  Like most of us, Paul & I sit in the same section at church every week, warmly greet the people around us, follow Allen into incredible times of worship and Pastor Andy into the Word.  We learn and grow and serve on those Sunday mornings, but how many opportunities are we missing?

If we’re missing those opportunities in church, how many other times are we barreling through our routine, unaware of the possibilities for new friends, ministry opportunities or the chance to offer an encouraging word to a stranger?   What if the people around us need us to be His hands and feet?  Would God have to do something dramatic to get our attention?

He does that you know.  Sometimes, He just won’t wait on us any longer.  Paul will tell you that’s what happened to him 6 years ago when he lay on a bed in Covenant’s ER, his left side completely paralyzed from a massive stroke.   God finally said “I can’t keep waiting on you – it’s time to do this NOW”.

For years my husband had resisted the Holy Spirit’s leading, retreating further and further into alcoholism rather than coming to terms with the man God intended him to be.  Raised by godly parents, Paul had known the Lord since childhood and seen Him do miraculous things.  He knew who God was, but believed the lie that said he (Paul) wasn’t enough.  And so he stopped trying.

As his parents approached their 90’s it became more and more apparent that Paul & I would be the ones responsible for caring for them.  Though they were still living independently in their home out in the country, mom’s dementia was increasing and dad began to struggle with taking care of her.  Paul’s brothers both lived several states away and wouldn’t be able to do much except offer moral support.   Paul was still drinking and I wondered how I would add caring for his mom & dad to my already overwhelming list of responsibilities.

We went to the clinic that morning for an endoscopy to look into a problem with what the doctor suspected were esophageal ulcers.  I had been told that Paul would be taken to the recovery room after the procedure and monitored for 20 minutes or so, and then I could take him home.  Thirty minutes passed, then forty-five.  After an hour, I began to worry.  About that time, a nurse came to get me and, instead of taking me to see Paul, took me into a consult room where she told me that the procedure had gone normally but about 15 minutes into recovery, something went wrong – my 46 year old husband had stopped being able to respond to them and had appeared to have had a massive stroke.   The clinic called for an ambulance which rushed him to the hospital and I somehow managed to get there as well.

The next few hours were a blur.  I talked with doctors (“we don’t really know what happened”) and made the requisite phone calls to friends and family.  Our church family was there immediately and helped make arrangements to get my younger children picked up from school and my older daughter flown in from her assignment with JobCorp in Oklahoma.   Paul’s 92 year old father drove into town and held my hand.  A friend went  to their home in the country later in the day to bring his mom in to see him (where she loudly announced to the medical staff, “he WILL move that toe in the name of Jesus!).

The doctors gave Paul TPA, a medication that dissolves blood clots, but there was no change.  At one point, his blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and I was asked if there was a DNR in place.  Paul & I had discussed this when he went through a medical crisis a couple of years before and I knew, very definitively, how he felt.  “Do not resuscitate”, I said. “God will either heal him or take him home.  It’s okay.”

Our doctors and friends stood by me as we watched Paul’s blood pressure slowly recover on its own.   A week of intensive care and 6 weeks of intense physical therapy on the rehab floor of the hospital ensued where my precious husband learned to read and walk again.  Over the next 3 years, he learned a new way to live – disabled but sober, fully aware that God had given him another chance.

Though his left hand and leg don’t work quite right and his short term memory is shorter than most, he has focused on walking into the life God has for him.  And just in time. ..

After the stroke, Paul went to work in his father’s woodshop every day.  While he & his dad developed their craft (building pool cues had long been an interest/hobby) he was able to monitor his parent’s well-being.  We cleaned, took meals and bought groceries for them as mom’s dementia increased to the point she was no longer able to take care of normal chores.

Three years after Paul’s stroke, his mother fell and broke her hip.   She moved from the hospital to the nursing home where she would stay for the rest of her life.  We immediately moved into their house in the country to care for dad.  Over the next 3 years, I watched my husband care for his aging parents with a tenderness and courage I couldn’t have imagined before the stroke.  He walked side by side with them through the frustrations and indignities of aging, leading our family practically and spiritually along the way.  Paul became the unofficial head of our extended family as well, our grown niece and nephew marveling at the way God had transformed him.  At the memorial service earlier this year (we lost them both within 4 months of each other), Paul spoke from a heart of thankfulness for a life redeemed in time to serve his parents as they had loved and served him.

This Changes Everything!

That’s the name of the series Pastor Andy has been preaching the past several weeks.   It’s that moment when everything you thought you knew about God goes out the window and you know HIM.  You can never go back after that.  Knowing God (not just knowing about Him) forces a change – often a dramatic one.   For Paul, it meant freedom from the bondage of fear and alcoholism.  It changed everything – for him, for our family and for the lives he’s touched in ministry.

Let’s go back a minute.  Stand with me, there on the rim of the canyon.

Can you see the awesome power of our Creator?  Doesn’t it take your breath away?  That’s the power of God to create, to change and to redeem.   Not just the desert in Arizona but the desert places in our lives.    That’s how big God is.  He rules the entire universe, yet He chooses to live within my heart.

Amazing!