Jesus loves me, this I know.

Do I know it?  Deep down am I really convinced that Jesus loves me?  What about you?  In spite of all the scripture you’ve read and teaching you’ve heard, haven’t you ever wondered, does he really love ME?

The answer to that question lies both in scripture and in our pasts.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him (I believe!) should not perish but have everlasting life”.   I believe. I want to believe anyway.  I totally believe Jesus loved you so much that He died for you but honestly, there’ve been times when I’ve had have a harder time embracing that love for myself.

Maybe it’s because, when I finally stopped denying my sins, I became painfully aware of the depravity of my own heart.  Or maybe it’s because, even 35 years after accepting God’s gift of grace, I still don’t fully understand the concept.

My friend and Al-Anon sponsor put it in perspective for me one day.  I had turned the corner where I had stopped focusing on my husband’s faults and began to look honestly at my own life.  With that came an awareness of My Part in the failing state of my marriage and in other failures in my life.  As I wept before Judy, confessing my sins, I also confessed this doubt I had – that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus died for her brokenness, but I didn’t see how He could forgive me since I had known Him so intimately and still failed so miserably.

I justified this line of thought with Luke’s statement that “to whom much is given, much is required”.  I guess I thought that scripture meant that Jesus only came to forgive sinners once – after you accepted Him, if you continued to be a rotten person, you were on your own!

Judy, in the frank, sarcastic way only Judy can speak (how I wish I could express tone on the page!) said to me, “Well, aren’t you the important one?  I had no idea I was in the presence of someone so far above the rest of us!  Do you mean to tell me that the blood of Jesus that covered the sins of the entire world, wasn’t enough for YOU?”

In that one moment, all of my excuses melted and I knew.  He IS enough.  Of course He is.  Jesus loves me, this I know.  How do I know?

For the Bible tells me so.

The writer of Hebrews briefly tells the stories of Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses and Rahab.  In Chapter 11 he says that “by faith” each of them were able to do incredible things but none of them lived to see their promises fulfilled.  They only “saw them and welcomed them from a distance” (vs 13).  Jesus hadn’t come yet so they couldn’t really walk in the promises.  We live in a different time folks.  Because of the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus – our Messiah – we CAN walk fully in the promises of God.  Yes, there is an important element of faith when I embrace the fact that Jesus loves me.

We know that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen” Heb 11:1.  I have to look no further back than this morning when Paul sold another cue just in time to pay the taxes on our house to see evidence of that love.  Or last Sunday when I held my oldest daughter’s hand in church, weeping for her losses while privately rejoicing that all 3 of my kids were worshipping somewhere that morning.

Those are little things Pam.  They’re circumstantial or emotional.  Okay, here’s one.  How about the time God restored my marriage?  That was a biggie.  Or the time he healed me from multiple sclerosis?  Or all the times he rescued me from my own stupidity (must I give examples?).

When I get to thinking this faith thing just isn’t working for me today, that I must be thinking, believing, doing something wrong, I have only to look back for a moment and see proof of God’s unending love for me.

He has loved me as a Father loves an infant – admiring His workmanship while meeting my every need.  Time and time again, through the years as a single mother, the young wife of a self-employed carpenter and the subsequent nightmare of separation, providing for 3 children while my marriage was crumbling, my loving Father provided for me – often miraculously and always just in time.

He has loved me as his kindergardener – knowing I am still totally dependent on Him, even though my 5 year old innocence takes me exploring in often dangerous alleys.

He has loved me like a 12 year old loves – with absolute abandon and rose colored glasses, ignoring my faults and going out of His way to spend time with me.  Did you ever drop your books on purpose just so Tommy Bruce, uhmm, some cute boy would pick them up for you?  (or was that just me, over and over again?).   Sometimes I feel like God has to do something loud and dramatic to get my attention, just so I’ll look up and see the One who so adores me.  And every now and then, He makes His presence known in some undeniable way, like Forrest Gump observed in the midst of the storm on that shrimpin boat when he said simply, “and God showed up.”

He has loved me like a newlywed – with passion and excitement about our future together.  “For I know the plans that I have for you, saith the Lord.  Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.  He is the lover of my soul – we have a future together, Jesus & I!

And he has loved me with the unfailing commitment of a 70 year marriage – fully aware of every flaw but committed to the relationship nonetheless.  I had the great privilege of serving my in-laws in their waning years where I saw that kind of love first hand.  Though my mother-in-law often didn’t know who Dad was in the evenings (due to Sundowners – a phenomenon often seen in dementia patients) and she was cross and irrational, Dad’s greatest wish was to live long enough to take care of her as long as she needed him.  By the time he went home to heaven at age 98, she no longer knew who he was even in the daytime and I think he felt released to go.

All that time, he never complained about her forgetfulness.  He mourned their losses of course but mostly he just tried to find a way to live their lives there in the nursing home.  He held her hand, prayed with her and loved her til the very end.  “I have loved you with an everlasting love” Jesus said in John.  That’s the love our Father has for us.  It’s the love that Paul’s dad walked into in the fullness of that evening in October when he finally ran into the arms of Jesus and it’s the love that remains to give us hope.

Now these three remain, faith, hope & love.  But the greatest of these is love.  (1 Corinthians 13:13.)

Little ones to Him belong…

Jesus said “let the children come to me”.  While scripture is full of parables, and Jesus did immediately instruct the religious leaders in the value of a childlike heart, this time I think Jesus was speaking literally.  I believe He loved being with the children that day.  They were full of life, full of questions and without the preconceived notions the adults had about how to approach God.  Can’t you just picture them grabbing his hands, “Master, come and play!” or sitting on his knee, enjoying a good snuggle?

Is there anything better than comforting a crying toddler?  Watching his sobs turn to sniffles, feeling his limbs begin to relax as you pray over him?  That’s God holding us girls – drawing us into His lap, wiping our tears and reassuring us that, in spite of our limited understanding, everything really will be okay.

We are weak but He is strong.

Even when I’m singing over the children in Starting Point, I always sing that verse, “I am weak but He is strong.”  It’s an every Sunday reminder that I really am a wreck, when left to my own devices.   Oh, I frequently try to do things on my own.  I get big ideas, put in some initial effort and then realize I’m in way over my head.

Turns out that very first song I learned in Sunday school would be the most important one of all – it’s a reminder that it is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that I am able to do anything worthwhile with my life.  Jesus is strong. When I abide in Him and His Words abide in me, I’ll “bear much fruit”.  I can accomplish great things because He is strong.

Yes, Jesus Loves Me,
Yes, Jesus Loves Me!
Yes, Jesus Loves Me!
The Bible tells me so.